#36 Surf & Turf 5k

Many of these races are organized to raise funds for a charity.  Neglected kids, disabled veterans, a disease, a disability or a community social concern.  This particular 5K (#36) is going to benefit my stomach and nothing else.

The 27th Annual Inland Seafood Festival is held in Newport, KY in the middle of August. Restaurants from around the region gather to ply their wares and entice you with all manner of seafood. Fried in oil, grilled, fried in peanut oil, and more fried in "god knows what" are the options. Right next to the Ohio River. Picture it if you will.

Wait, it gets better. Now imagine the smell.

The festival organizers have inaugurated a run to further the reach of the festival and garner a new audience.  It was pretty clear that someone, stood up a a meeting a said "hey why don't offer a 5k?  That'll bring in new people."  And everyone nodded and that was it.  Nobody planned for a route. (Hell, that can be done that day, right?)  I think the water station was an after thought as well.  The route ran across the Purple People Bridge and back, then across the top of Newport on the Levee, down the ramp to the street level, in front of the Aquarium, then it winds its way through an abandoned field and back out.  The kicker, (and I'm always looking for the kicker) is that the finish line is just beyond the festival booths.  Yes, you have to run through the food booths in order to get to the end.  About half a mile of booths like this:

As we approach the finish line...the stench is overwhelming. It was bad, terrible, horrendous, fetid, fowl, nasty, gross. And you are supposed to eat in that stench?  Not a chance.

A cross between raw sewage and rotting fish.  Yum, pass the tartar sauce.  The tartar sauce that has been sitting in the sun for days.  Yes, that one.

For most of the race I am joined by a woman who is completing her first 5k.  She has headphone on and is talking loudly and commenting on other runners...assuming that everyone else has headphones on as well. Only after loudly remarking that the cop over there is really fat does she realize that everyone can hear her.

Oops.

At the start of the race, I was exhausted.  Not tired... bone weary exhausted.  And sore.  Muscles I didn't even know I had were sore.  I am attempting to run but walking is winning out.

Until the old man catches up with me.  Then I run....and stop. Then he catches up again.  And I run.  This goes on for a good mile.  Finally after entering the last phase of the race, I run faster to escape the smell of the booths and the river.  I finish and collapse.  Yes!...on to breakfast.  We agree to return later to pick up our "free" lobsters after the festival officially opens for the day.

And the last kicker?

No lobster for you!!