#36 Surf & Turf 5k

Many of these races are organized to raise funds for a charity.  Neglected kids, disabled veterans, a disease, a disability or a community social concern.  This particular 5K (#36) is going to benefit my stomach and nothing else.

The 27th Annual Inland Seafood Festival is held in Newport, KY in the middle of August. Restaurants from around the region gather to ply their wares and entice you with all manner of seafood. Fried in oil, grilled, fried in peanut oil, and more fried in "god knows what" are the options. Right next to the Ohio River. Picture it if you will.

Wait, it gets better. Now imagine the smell.

The festival organizers have inaugurated a run to further the reach of the festival and garner a new audience.  It was pretty clear that someone, stood up a a meeting a said "hey why don't offer a 5k?  That'll bring in new people."  And everyone nodded and that was it.  Nobody planned for a route. (Hell, that can be done that day, right?)  I think the water station was an after thought as well.  The route ran across the Purple People Bridge and back, then across the top of Newport on the Levee, down the ramp to the street level, in front of the Aquarium, then it winds its way through an abandoned field and back out.  The kicker, (and I'm always looking for the kicker) is that the finish line is just beyond the festival booths.  Yes, you have to run through the food booths in order to get to the end.  About half a mile of booths like this:

As we approach the finish line...the stench is overwhelming. It was bad, terrible, horrendous, fetid, fowl, nasty, gross. And you are supposed to eat in that stench?  Not a chance.

A cross between raw sewage and rotting fish.  Yum, pass the tartar sauce.  The tartar sauce that has been sitting in the sun for days.  Yes, that one.

For most of the race I am joined by a woman who is completing her first 5k.  She has headphone on and is talking loudly and commenting on other runners...assuming that everyone else has headphones on as well. Only after loudly remarking that the cop over there is really fat does she realize that everyone can hear her.

Oops.

At the start of the race, I was exhausted.  Not tired... bone weary exhausted.  And sore.  Muscles I didn't even know I had were sore.  I am attempting to run but walking is winning out.

Until the old man catches up with me.  Then I run....and stop. Then he catches up again.  And I run.  This goes on for a good mile.  Finally after entering the last phase of the race, I run faster to escape the smell of the booths and the river.  I finish and collapse.  Yes!...on to breakfast.  We agree to return later to pick up our "free" lobsters after the festival officially opens for the day.

And the last kicker?

No lobster for you!!

#35 - Super hero 5K

I would love to be able to say that as I progress through this challenge, each 5K becomes easier....but that just ain't the case.

The 35th 5k supported the efforts of Pro-Kids, an organization that provides advocacy for abused and neglected kids, many of whom are in the foster care system. The race has a special category for law firm teams as many provide pro-bono work for these cases.  Because the advocates for these kids are "everyday heroes" the dress code is Super Hero costumes.  We had Superman, Spider-man, Batman, Wonder Woman and Super Girl.  Even a few Ghostbusters showed up.

Since we are dressed as super heroes for this race, it only stands to reason that we attempt to get our best time.

Right?

Well, that was before the hill.  The race course begins downtown on Sycamore Street between 6th and 7th.  It goes towards the river, turning on 5th, down behind Proctor & Gamble headquarters, over by the Casino, and then up to the reflecting pool in Eden Park in Mount Adams via Gilbert and then back to the start.

Okay.  I should have realized that Mount Adams is called that BECAUSE it is a hill.  You have to go up.  And the kicker is that you go up, then turn a corner and continue to go up.

The bonus is that if you survive going up, you can run down the hill on the way back, assuming of course that you have the strength to stop yourself because you are gaining speed as you propel downwards and will hurl yourself into oncoming traffic if you don't put on the brakes.

I am struggling with the 'effing hill, Jo has left me long ago, and I am being followed by a family of runners.  I use the term loosely here, because the main focus is this little girl. She is maybe 4 or 5 and has boundless energy but I decide that I will not allow her to beat me.  So I run.  Up hill.  Then stop because I may be bringing on a heart attack.

She skips past me.

Okay.  This means war.  I pass her again.  This time she turns to her mother and says "that lady is going fast again." ...and she speeds up.  The urge to trip her is overwhelming.  But I refrain.  If I can leave them all behind by the time I get to the turn-around, then I'm good.  I'm thinking to myself that the jet packs on my costume should kick in at any time.

Imagine my dismay to discover that my costume does not have a functioning jet-pack and apparently I purchased the economy version Wonder Woman costume because the cape is also not working.  I am regretting this 5k.  Even considered briefly sitting down on the famous "prayer steps" up the hill and rejoining the crowd later.

But the little girl is watching me.  Passing me and taunting me.  I remind myself that this is all about kids and I should just suck it up. She and her family stop for water.  I don't.  Ha! suckers!  I have you now.   I make it through the turn-around near the reflecting pool in Eden Park and it's all downhill from here.  

At least that's what the volunteers cheering on the sides are saying.  Just a little further to go.  It's all downhill.  I know they are lying.  Bastards.

It's not all downhill and I still have 1.5 miles to go.  I leave the little girl in my dust and set my sights on the next one to overtake.  A little boy dressed as Batman and his mom pushing a stroller.  Perfect. I have you now.

(Here is where I insert a pithy but trite phrase about how its all for the kids and I'm just doing my small part.)

I survive and actually pass others in my finish.  (They were in the way of the hot dogs and beer.)

Yes, our socks have capes as well!!! and yes, I have created a monster.

Logged a PR of 43:02!

#34 - CABVI 5K

#34 brings us back to the Spring Grove Cemetery.  We walked in a 5k to raise money for the Cincinnati Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired.

We walked this one, with no pretense of running because we were sweating out the wine from the night before. Susan, my neighbor, joined us.  Probably for the scintillating conversation and not for the promise of breakfast afterwards.

Being in a cemetery brings about many discussions of death and what we want to take place at our death.  Cremation. Full burial.  A second line.  All of these are options.

Personally, I would like a parade held in my honor.  A second line (New Orleans traditional) to stroll after the casket (complete with flambeaux)  Nobody should wear black to my funeral.  And there should be laughter.  The coffin carried in a horse drawn carriage to the actual cemetery.  My body will be encased in a glass coffin and I will try to get the undertaker to pose me in a certain way. Clawing at the top seems to be the most appropriate...with me holding a sign that says "let me out!"

No drama here.... pretty straightforward.  I think I'll make that appointment now with the funeral director because the look on his face would be priceless.

Anyway...back to the race...

The race took a different path through the grounds than the previous one.   Richard (from run #9) was there with a running partner as were several others who were visually impaired.  Each had a running partner and were clearly attempting to better their time.  

We had no such illusions.  We managed to discover some long-lost relatives of mine.

And Jo found some of her extended family...

Yes, we got a lot of strange looks as we posed for these, but #34 is done.  

#32 Honoring Our Heroes

Yes, I know this is out of order.  I got behind and then forgot about it....but here it is.

My 32nd 5K of this challenge marks the only the second time I have completed two 5Ks in one weekend.  The first time was last September and I was in pain.  This time around was much better.

The first Annual Honoring Our Heroes 5K was sponsored by the Kroger Company and held in downtown Cincinnati. The Kroger CEO even ran in the inaugural race.  He had the number 1 on his race bib.  

It was raining that morning and windy.  And lightening and thunder.  And they are thinking of postponing the race.  Or canceling.  

We were joined by two of Rocky's friends: Goetta Girl and West Side Girl.  Goetta Girl kept talking about the promise of goetta for breakfast after the race.  She was salivating. Clearly no one was willing to dissuade her from her goal. (and in all fairness, it's a good goal to have.)  West Side Girl had worked with Rocky and recently retired.  She was far more health conscious.  She wanted fruit with breakfast.  That's a hard combo to cater to...but we will manage.  They were quite a pair.  They ran ahead of us and did pretty well.

I was dragging.  Not even the promise of breakfast and all the bacon I ever wanted would get me going.  I was doing better than the runners who had to pull off to the side of the road to puke.   (Oh yes, I remember my twenties...)

The race drags on until I'm near the end and Rocky met me near the finish and ran with me.  She yells "Grab the flag!!" (There were veterans holding flags along the way to the finish line.)  I grab a flag and run across the finish line.

 'Merica!

#33 The Color Run

This was crazy.  This race is not timed and participants are released in waves due to the sheer number.  We enter the start "chute" where we wait (herded like cattle) for over 35 minutes before our group is released.  There are lots of directions.  Walkers to the right.  Runners to the left.  Why is anyone running through this?   It's not timed.  Whatever.

There are booths selling apparel for the run: white t-shirts, caps, mesh ballerina skirts, shorts, bodysuits, any white clothing that can be dyed through the race.

The objective is to get covered with tons of colored powder as you cross over various points throughout the course.  The first stop is RED.  We approach the red arch and are doused with red powder.  Jo and I are wearing masks so as not to inhale an abundance of this stuff. It is a zoo. 

We see the cloud of BLUE dust long before we see the blue arch. This time around, we are pros.  Masks on, we head into the fray.  We scoop up residue powder and slap hand prints on each other.  Some people have asked for the powder to be thrown into their face.  I choose to pass on that one.

By the time we reach the PURPLE zone,  people are rolling around in the powder dust, completely saturating their clothes.  Okay, I am not that hard core and realize that if I roll around in it, I may not get back up.  Keep moving.

Purple dust thick on the ground.  Glad I'm not on clean-up crew.

The route is in downtown Cincinnati's industrial park area, near Longworth Hall.  It is not scenic route by any stretch of the imagination and it is bizarre to see so many people behaving in such a goofy manner.  Lots of men in tutus.  
At the end of the race, each runner is given their very own personal packet of powdered dye for the after party.  I got RED.  We didn't stay for the dye fest, thus keeping the packet for a future date.  (Beware)

This race is a good time.  Lots of families.  Lots of goofy behavior.  One thing that isn't widely known is the fact that The Color Run is a FOR profit entity. They do partner with a variety of local charities (Cincinnati's charity was the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society) but their focus isn't raising money, it's raising awareness.  Their website states that they allow the charity to speak at the event and the charity can provide the event with volunteers (yes, volunteers for a PROFIT event?), however their main goal isn't raising money for organization. The Color Run encourages participants to go to the charity's website to find out more about it.  While I am all for having a good time and well run events, it strikes me that they could use their power for good.  A lot more good than they do.