#47 DAV 5K

#47 was the DAV 5K.  Disabled American Veterans 5K.  As expected, there are many veterans.  There were lots of families running in memory or in honor of a loved one who served.  Many runners were honoring a friend or family member with an additional bib.  Many had KIA with a name. Took me  awhile to figure out that it meant Killed In Action.

Many active soldiers participated running with packs on their backs.  Each service member who ran received a different shirt with their branch of service on the back.  I was in the Civilian category.  Never have I felt so horribly out-of-shape.

The course starts at Yeatman's Cove down near the river. We run around the stadium, along the river near the ballpark and return to the finish near where we started.

Final mile of the race is lined with veterans from the veterans motorcycle brigade.   All these guys (and some gals too) in heavy leather, long beards, and American flag patches all over.  Holding out their hands to give high fives to the runners.

In extreme contrast to last weeks race, this race I was referred to to as "young lady"  Hello there, young lady.  Glad you came out today, miss.  Nice run, miss.  


I had a good run time....not my best, but it will do.


At every race thus far, there is a water stop or two. Immediately following each water stop, there is a trash can for the paper cups.  At every single race, 75% of the participants throw the cup on the ground...missing the trash can entirely.  At this race, there wasn't a stray cup anywhere.  Maybe this group was more determined to get it in the container.  Most likely it was the stern looking soldier guarding the can.

Closing in on the finish...#47 is done.

#45 - Run for the Fallen

#45 dawned a very cold morning.  It is 35 degrees with snow flurries.  I think to myself, "this is a really bad idea and I wish I was done last week."  But I dig out my long underwear and my gloves and off I go.


#45 takes place in Clifton at the University of Cincinnati. Sponsored by the Arnold Air Society, the participants are primarily Air Force ROTC cadets.  (Wait, it gets better.) The race raises money and awareness for families of solders who are Prisoners of War and/or Missing In Action (POW/MIA). According to their website there are 83,388 US soldiers who are unaccounted for today.

For this race, I was killed with politeness. I have been "Ma'am" to death.  Yes, ma'am.  No, ma'am. Watch yourself there, ma'am. You are doing great, ma'am.  Thanks for coming out today ma'am.

It is a very young crowd.  With Jo and I, we have raised the average age to 23.

Against a crowd easily less than half my age, (and actually my children are older than most of this crowd) I forge ahead.

The route starts near the baseball stadium on UC campus. It goes out to Jefferson, turns on Martin Luther King Drive and turns again on Clifton Ave.  Halfway down Clifton, we enter the actual campus and meander through the dorms and buildings.  There are lots of twists and turns and I had to slow down several times to figure out which way to go. (My usual tactic of following the crowd was ineffective as the crowd had long passed me by.)  The student volunteer wildly waving his hands to get my attention is usually the direction to take.

However, as I am entering the final kilometer, I realize that the cadet in front of me has fallen behind.  He is limping.  His squadron has returned to the route just behind me to encourage him to finish with gusto.  They are chanting is cadence:

Born to fight,
trained to kill,
Ready to die,
but never will.

I think to myself, I could pass him.  I could bring on a burst of energy and pass this cadet.  With a limp.  (Wouldn't that be a victory?)

I decide not to.  I mean, how completely demoralizing would that be for a cadet to finish after this 49 year old woman?  In front of his squad?  Couldn't do it.

#45 is done.

#46 Mason 5k for Epilepsy Foundation

#46 takes us all the way to Mason, OH, to participate in the Mason 5K and half-marathon.  This race should be called Running with Suburbanites or How Many Mini-Vans can you Count.  The race raises money for the Epilepsy Foundation.  It's a good cause, so I will keep my snarky comments to a minimum.

As I said, there is a Half-Marathon and 5K.  The Half Marathoners start first.  Five minutes later, we (the 5K crowd) begins. Mostly walkers.  Lots of families with several children.
There is some confusion on the route as at several points half marathoners go one way and the 5K go another.  Then we meet up again. So there was bona fide confusion, and it wasn't the alcohol from the evening before.

Along the path, I befriended a young girl.  She's wearing a Team Hannah t-shirt.  I ask her "who's Hannah?"  She smiles and says "Me!"   She is also wearing a banner across her shirt that says 'Seizure free since October 2, 2010'.  4 Years.  I ask her how old she is.  She says "8".

So half her life is seizure free.  Got to love that.

She and her cousin are running and passing me.  And then I run and pass them.  After three of these back and forth encounters, I tell them, "You don't want to let this Old Lady beat you."  They look horrified. How did I know what they were thinking???

The course is pretty flat and uneventful.  Until we get near the end.  It starts to weave back and forth through the parking lot.  We have the illusion that we are near the end, but like the lines at King's Island that snake in and out, it is a lie.

Damn them.  I hate that part.  I cross the Finish Line, well ahead of my young friend, Hannah, and celebrate 4 years of "seizure free" at breakfast.

#44 Run Like Hell

#44 was the Run Like Hell race on October 24.

Have you ever heard of an event advertised on the radio and said "I want to do that"  ??

I have heard about this race every year since I have lived in Cincinnati.  Sponsored by raunchy radio station WEBN, it has taken on a life of it's own.  The run raises money for cystic fibrosis.  (A great cause.)  It also promotes debauchery.  A winning combination.

Sign me up for that.

The run is held just south of Xavier University in Evanston and caters to the college crowd.  There is a costume contest and the creativity abounds.  I am dressed as Wonder Woman.  Jo is a TARDIS...(something out of Dr. Who).  Rocky is a cat-wench with Egyptian flair....or something like that.

The race starts at dusk and pretty soon we are in complete darkness. The race is hilly and the main selling point of this race is to run through a cemetery in the dark. German Cemetery is off of Victory Parkway and is an "Old World cemetery"...really old tombstones....no lights... monsters... zombies.  You get the picture.  Because it is the 23rd year of doing this race, there are plenty of volunteers in the cemetery to insure that runners do not meander off the path and cause wanton destruction.  It is pitch black.  The race organizers have token flashlights here and there but otherwise....  it is a Black hole.

I have said before that I do not like running in the dark and I am delighted that I can check this experience off my bucket list.  Not only is it dark, but the road it rutted and full of potholes.  I end up walking through the cemetery.  Others brave the rutted roads and fall. (Could be that they were a bit tipsy to begin with, but they fall just the same.)  And bonus, of bonuses...there is a hill in the cemetery..in the dark.  Awesome.  Just what I was looking for.

Soon we leave the pitch black darkness of the cemetery and return to the streets of Evanston.  (Never have I been so glad to be on the streets in Evanston.)  Again....a sentence that I never thought I would say aloud.  

The race is somewhat ...less rigid than other races.  It's merely the starting point for the evening as the after party is what makes this race (in)famous.  There is a costume contest during the party and this guy won:

I mean, wow.  Just wow.  Rapidly approaching the finish line...stay tuned.

#43 Queen Bee 4 Miler

#43 was the Queen Bee 4-miler.  (As with previous races that are over the 3.1 (5k) mark, I reserve the right to use the extra .9 miles in any way I see fit.)  

This race was part of the Queen Bee Half-Marathon extravaganza over the weekend.  Likewise, the Queen Bee is also part of the Flying Pig series of races held in the spring in downtown Cincinnati.  The idea behind the Queen Bee events was to have a race that catered to women.  The merchandising is phenomenal.  Everything is purple and pink.  T-shirts proclaiming "I run this Bee-atch".  Tutus everywhere. Glitter.  Make-up and hairdos.  A fashion show during the expo.  Men are allowed to participate, however they have to start at the back of the pack and get boring grey t-shirts.

The 4 miler event is almost an after thought.  The serious runners are doing the half-marathon.  Since this is the inaugural race, it has attracted a lot of attention.  Over 3000 runners signed up.

We had to go into the Horseshoe Casino to get our packets and attend the expo. The packet pick-up was upstairs and we had to navigate the entire first floor, weaving through the slots machines and dealers.  Lots of flashing lights, bells and whistles.  It also had an inordinate amount of people who were extremely overweight.  They enthroned themselves on motorized carts and zoomed from slot machine to slot machine, constantly feeding it quarters. I can safely check the Horseshoe Casino off my list of things to see in Cincinnati as this initial trip will be my last.


The next morning, before the race starts, there is loud music playing and people are goofing off as we wait in line for the start gun.  On the top floor of the parking garage, a man emerges from the casino.  From the look of him, we can tell that he has been inside for about 3-4 days.  His clothes are...somewhat damaged..but he doesn't care.  He is dancing and the crowd is cheering him on.  He disappears behind a post, then re-appears 3 seconds later to great applause. Who knew the Casino could be so entertaining?

Back to the race.

The race started in front of the Casino, winds up Gilbert Road into Eden Park.  The route goes around the reflecting pool, further up the hill to the Krohn Conservatory, continuing straight up the hill for a total of 2 miles.  Up and up and up.

It is a Bee-atch.  Seriously.  Who in their right mind would start a race that climbs for 2 miles?

This girl.  That's who.

At the 2 mile mark, we (the 4 milers) leave the half-marathoners (suckers) and head back the way we came.  It's all downhill, baby.  Yes!  

I am making good time.  I am praying that I don't fall on the way back down the hill.  Injury at this point in the challenge would be ...bad.  We started late, so I'm trying to finish before the hour mark.  That should give me my best pace time yet.

(Stop.  Let's just think about that last sentence and try to figure out where the Lucy we all know and love has gone.  It is a mystery.)

At each mile marker are various groups that have sponsored that portion of the race.  Maria Olberding's family (from the Reggae Run last October) have sponsored mile #1.  Lots of folks in reggae wear and dreadlocks.  I'm pretty sure they had beer when we first passed by at 9 AM.

But I digress.

I finish with a good pace time, but not my best.  After the race, runners are entitled to a complimentary mimosa.  I am liking this.  We also get a free Skyline.  I opted out of that.  It just doesn't go well with champagne.

Check this Bee-atch off the list.

#42 Free to Breathe 5K

The Free to Breathe 5K raises money for lung cancer research.  As we arrive, the announcer is praising the fundraising efforts of various teams, however one of the top fundraising teams is not in attendance this morning.  The announcer informs the gathered crowd that the individual for whom the team is supporting is at home taking their last breath.

Wow. Okay, that is a sobering thought for 8 AM.

This is a small race.  No race bib.  No timing chip. No crowds of supporters.  A small table at the end of the race with a box of bananas and several cases of water bottles for the runners after the race.  There are still numerous t-shirts and packets left to be picked up.  The colder weather has caused many cancellations. 

It was not a scenic run by any stretch.  The course loops through the industrial park and office buildings off of I-75 in Sharonville.  So we don't have a lot going for this race as we start out...  The weather, which has been unseasonably warm, has turned cold and the wind is blowing.  Not the way I wanted to re-enter the challenge after Maui, but...

I am a whiner.

I am healthy.  I am running /walking in 50 races for entertainment.  I am not struggling with lung cancer, or any cancer or any disease for that matter.  After this race, my biggest concern is where I will have breakfast.

All it takes is a little perspective, to figure out that you are doing okay-dokey.  We manage to finish in good time, under 45 minutes walking fast, if only to keep warm.

And breakfast tasted pretty sweet. 

#41 Maui Tacos 5K

Aloha.

As I write these stories about my adventures, I have this illusions that I am imparting wisdom to my readers.  With that in mind, I give you the "aloha" lesson.  Depending upon the intonation and accompanying hand gestures, Aloha has many different meanings.  It can mean "hello" or "goodbye" or "leave me alone" or "this conversation is over."  On my recent trip to Maui, I encountered this phrase everywhere.

#41 was the Maui Tacos 5k. (Yes, I went to Hawaii for a 5k.) We experienced horrendous traveling conditions. Delayed in Cincinnati.  Delayed in Houston.  Stranded in Los Angeles overnight. No assistance from the airline. (#WeHateUnited). Our bags are God Knows Where...and we are spending the night in El Segundo.  Where exactly is El Segundo?  Never mind, you don't want to know.  

Later we learned that in addition to various weather delays, an airplane engine had misfired on a runway at LAX, shutting down the airport for several hours just before our arrival, and cancelling many flights.  Getting us to Hawaii, was not a priority for them.

Good times.  Lots of fun.

We are exhausted and just want to be there now.  We are afforded the opportunity to purchase a delightful little box of snacks to sustain us.  (Insert sarcasm font here.)

The next day, we spend an extra 3 hours on the runway determining whether one of the engines is working or not.  Finally determine that it is (Good to know that before crossing the ocean.)  We arrive much later than planned. Exhausted. Fetch our bags. Get the car.  Drive to hotel. Check in.  Eat.  Collapse.

Because we lost a day travelling, we wake up the next day for the run.  Didn't matter.  Our body clock hadn't re-set so we are up at 4 AM.  Which is good, because the race doesn't start until 8 AM.  So there is time to kill.  Off to the beach!

The run was hot.  Now, I'm not bitching about the weather.  It was hot even for Hawaii.  The locals said so.  By 8 AM it is already a balmy 93 degrees.   And humid.  (Okay I'm bitching. A little bit.)   The course is several loops around three large hotels which are situated on the beach. (I know, you feel sorry for me.)

We start on the main road, swerve off to a service road, and loop around the first hotel.  Back to the main road, we then turn right and go up a hill.  Let's call the hill Mt. Kilimanjaro. Steep and hot, and the bonus is that I get the run down it on the way back.  On the climb up, I feel dizzy...light-headed.  I am scarfing down water as I go.  Can't seem to get enough.

Did I mention it was hot?

After the hill, I hear a runner behind me praising Jesus and thanking God very loudly and gesturing her arms.  I'm thinking that she is having a "Come-to-Jesus" moment and may be delirious from the heat.  Only after she passes me do I realize she has headphones on and is playing gospel music very loudly.   Alleluia.


I struggled to make it to the finish in under an hour.  It is hotter than hell.  It least I didn't require the services of the medical tent.  IV's strung up on ropes over stretchers.   Participants with cold washcloths on faces.  A Triage Unit.

After the race, we spend the rest of the time sight-seeing and being tourists.  We travel the Road to Hana.   It has 617 turns. 56 bridges.  Scenic waterfalls.  Lush plants.  Amazing views.  Black sand beaches and red sand beaches.  Lava formations.  43 miles of twisting turning roads. Some call it the most scenic road trip of all.  And it was.  I call it 'Hot dogs and Vomit'.   It does have scenic views.  It also has hot dogs and vomit.  Just trying to be clear.  (On a side note, I'm thinking of a career in marketing.  I'll let you know how that works out for me.)











This is by far, the farthest I have traveled for a 5k.  The hotels are filled with people who are competing in the marathon and half marathon, checking another state off their list.  I feel a swell of pride when I mention, "Yeah, I'm here for the 5K." Then they know that I, too, am a serious athlete.  We have to stick together.

Aloha.