#20 - Fat Ass 5K

#20 is by far the most outrageous race of all.  Springfield, IL is the place.  Yes, it is 5 hours away.  Yes, I had to get a hotel room.

But it was worth it.

Held the second weekend of May, the Fat Ass 5K is a street party disguised as a race. Proceeds from the event benefit numerous charities including Canine Companions, a Crisis Nursery, Shriner's Hospital, Operation Smile, Autism Society, Girls on the Run, Child Abuse Prevention, the Patriot Guard and many others.

Other races have people carrying signs to mark the pace.  6 minute miles....8 minute....10 minute...12 minute....walkers and participants line up accordingly.  This race has the added pace sign reading "Shortcut".  Participants follow this pacer....200 yards to the Celtic Mist Bar...bypassing the entire route.

If you choose to actually attempt the race, there are plenty of stops along the way to entice you further.  Throughout the route there are the typical water stops, but they have added beer stops, ice cream stops, doughnut holes, chili, hot dogs, and tequila shots.  Never before have I heard at a race...   "Slow down!  You're going too fast...I'm going to spill my beer!"  As the crowds gather around each break station, trying to determine what is there.....disappointment reigns when it is announced through the ranks, "It's only water."  Oh hell, keep going.

I cannot make this up.  There are bands at every corner and when I say bands, I mean every type of music is represented.  At least 12 musical groups including: rock, celtic, country, bluegrass, drum corp from the local high school, balladiers, polka, rap, steel drums, even Elvis Himselvis was there.

The route zigzags through the downtown area.  Every corner is an opportunity to take a shortcut and rejoin the race further down the road.  ...or you can stop and have a haircut...

Or a photo op:

The race had about 3500 runners.  Easily 500 didn't even bother lining up to cross the starting line.  Another 1000 or so took the shortcut.  Of the remaining 2000...maybe half completed the 2nd lap.  One of them, was this guy:

And theses ladies:

Since we were in Springfield (AKA Land of Lincoln), on the second lap, we stopped at the Lincoln Gift shop in order to purchase a top hat.  (I was feeling under-dressed.)

 

Crossing the finish line and heading into the street party that awaits.  BBQ sandwiches and beer until you pass out. Fantastic music, good food and people watching at its finest.

Now that I am home, I have actually worn my Fat Ass t-shirt out in public.  I get a lot of comments and a lot of stares.

Nobody pulls out of the Fat Ass!