The twenty-first 5k was held last Saturday and was entitled A Summer Celebration. Good thing, because it was a balmy 46 degrees and I didn't want to become confused about what season we were celebrating.
This race had some additional unusual categories to register in. There was a stroller category...and you had to have a child in the stroller. (Damn!) There was a dog category. Dogs, dogs and more dogs were EVERYWHERE.
I found out about this race from the expo of one of the other races earlier this year. They had nifty little postcards and were selling everybody on the race because they were offering unique medals. Some events give medals, others don't. This one promised and really cool-looking Rookwood Pottery Medal.
Hot damn. It's all about the bling.
The race wound around the Over the Rhine area of downtown. This is an area of town that has trendy bars, restaurants, and night clubs. It also has high crime and lots of abandoned buildings. On a historic note, the Over-the-Rhine area has more Italianate architecture than any other city. Renovations are rampant. So are stalled renovations.
The race started near Washington Park, a newly renovated park near Music Hall. There was a lot going on that morning: a yoga class near the fountain, an arts festival on the green, two stages with live music and food and beer tents galore. The race started and a light rain began to fall. Followed by light hail.
I say to myself "this is a good time." I was praying that I wouldn't fall on the cobblestones in front of Music Hall and kept reminding myself of all the food tents at the end of the race.
We meandered through Over-the-Rhine, passing by the new casino, and back to the opposite side of Washington Park. As we crossed the finish line, we realize that no one is giving out medals. What's up with that? Wait a minute. No medal? No cool-looking Rookwood Pottery medal?
We seek out the organizers of the event who tell us that the medals are only for the top 3 finishers in each category...and they would have to charge a lot more money to give medals to everyone. And they were snarky about it. Like they didn't think we would ever have finished in the top 3. (Note to organizers: Do not have snarky people at your information booth. It's not an attractive quality.)
I know it will surprise the faithful readers of this blog (all 10 of you) that while I have been doing this for over 6 months, at this point I am not actually finishing in the top 3. In any category. Not even in the stroller with a child category. Not yet anyway. I'm no longer the last finisher, but I can sometimes see the top 3 finishers as they whiz past me in the very beginning.
After all that...and no medal. ...and the smell of wet dog everywhere.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
#20 - Fat Ass 5K
#20 is by far the most outrageous race of all. Springfield, IL is the place. Yes, it is 5 hours away. Yes, I had to get a hotel room.
But it was worth it.
Held the second weekend of May, the Fat Ass 5K is a street party disguised as a race. Proceeds from the event benefit numerous charities including Canine Companions, a Crisis Nursery, Shriner's Hospital, Operation Smile, Autism Society, Girls on the Run, Child Abuse Prevention, the Patriot Guard and many others.
Other races have people carrying signs to mark the pace. 6 minute miles....8 minute....10 minute...12 minute....walkers and participants line up accordingly. This race has the added pace sign reading "Shortcut". Participants follow this pacer....200 yards to the Celtic Mist Bar...bypassing the entire route.
If you choose to actually attempt the race, there are plenty of stops along the way to entice you further. Throughout the route there are the typical water stops, but they have added beer stops, ice cream stops, doughnut holes, chili, hot dogs, and tequila shots. Never before have I heard at a race... "Slow down! You're going too fast...I'm going to spill my beer!" As the crowds gather around each break station, trying to determine what is there.....disappointment reigns when it is announced through the ranks, "It's only water." Oh hell, keep going.
I cannot make this up. There are bands at every corner and when I say bands, I mean every type of music is represented. At least 12 musical groups including: rock, celtic, country, bluegrass, drum corp from the local high school, balladiers, polka, rap, steel drums, even Elvis Himselvis was there.
The route zigzags through the downtown area. Every corner is an opportunity to take a shortcut and rejoin the race further down the road. ...or you can stop and have a haircut...
Or a photo op:
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The race had about 3500 runners. Easily 500 didn't even bother lining up to cross the starting line. Another 1000 or so took the shortcut. Of the remaining 2000...maybe half completed the 2nd lap. One of them, was this guy:
Since we were in Springfield (AKA Land of Lincoln), on the second lap, we stopped at the Lincoln Gift shop in order to purchase a top hat. (I was feeling under-dressed.)
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Crossing the finish line and heading into the street party that awaits. BBQ sandwiches and beer until you pass out. Fantastic music, good food and people watching at its finest.
Now that I am home, I have actually worn my Fat Ass t-shirt out in public. I get a lot of comments and a lot of stares.
But it was worth it.
Held the second weekend of May, the Fat Ass 5K is a street party disguised as a race. Proceeds from the event benefit numerous charities including Canine Companions, a Crisis Nursery, Shriner's Hospital, Operation Smile, Autism Society, Girls on the Run, Child Abuse Prevention, the Patriot Guard and many others.
Other races have people carrying signs to mark the pace. 6 minute miles....8 minute....10 minute...12 minute....walkers and participants line up accordingly. This race has the added pace sign reading "Shortcut". Participants follow this pacer....200 yards to the Celtic Mist Bar...bypassing the entire route.
If you choose to actually attempt the race, there are plenty of stops along the way to entice you further. Throughout the route there are the typical water stops, but they have added beer stops, ice cream stops, doughnut holes, chili, hot dogs, and tequila shots. Never before have I heard at a race... "Slow down! You're going too fast...I'm going to spill my beer!" As the crowds gather around each break station, trying to determine what is there.....disappointment reigns when it is announced through the ranks, "It's only water." Oh hell, keep going.
I cannot make this up. There are bands at every corner and when I say bands, I mean every type of music is represented. At least 12 musical groups including: rock, celtic, country, bluegrass, drum corp from the local high school, balladiers, polka, rap, steel drums, even Elvis Himselvis was there.
The route zigzags through the downtown area. Every corner is an opportunity to take a shortcut and rejoin the race further down the road. ...or you can stop and have a haircut...
Or a photo op:
The race had about 3500 runners. Easily 500 didn't even bother lining up to cross the starting line. Another 1000 or so took the shortcut. Of the remaining 2000...maybe half completed the 2nd lap. One of them, was this guy:
And theses ladies:
Crossing the finish line and heading into the street party that awaits. BBQ sandwiches and beer until you pass out. Fantastic music, good food and people watching at its finest.
Now that I am home, I have actually worn my Fat Ass t-shirt out in public. I get a lot of comments and a lot of stares.
Nobody pulls out of the Fat Ass!
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
#19 - The Flying Pig 5K
If last week's installment was in honor of the place I grew up, this week's installment is in honor of the place I now call home.
The Flying Pig takes place during the first weekend in May and include the following events: marathon, half-marathon, relay, 10k, 5K, a pump and run event, a kid's run and a pet-friendly run as well. If you are truly a glutton for punishment, you can sign up for a combination of races. You can do a 3-way (5K, 10K, and half-marathon) or a 4-way (5K, 10, marathon) during the weekend.
In addition to these events, there is a 1-mile run on Friday night which is part of the Christian Moerlein Beer series. Friday's run was the second of three beer-themed runs throughout the year which allows participants to claim the title "Beer Hog". The series honors Cincinnati's heritage as a beer brewing center. The medal doubles as a bottle opener.
I don't participate in the run, but Rocky does and we spend the evening drinking at the Moerlein Lager House and watching the Reds lose to the Brewers. I call this pre-gaming for the big race the next day. Like good shoes, prep is so important.
The next morning, the 5K starts in front of the Great American Ball Park, home to the Cincinnati Reds, (yes, I took a photo by the Johnny Bench statue here as well), passes down by the Bengals Stadium, back across 3rd street and down near the new casino, finishing on the opposite side of the Ballpark.
While the Flying Pig events are sanctioned events and a Boston Qualifier, there is a goofy side to it as well.
People run in pig-themed attire. Bacon costumes. Pig noses and ears. The organizers have fully embraced their "pigginess".
There are no volunteers. Those who help are called "Grunts"
There is no kid's race. It's a Piglet Run.
Runners do not assemble in corrals. They use Pig Pens.
There are no possibilities. There are pig-abilities.
For those not from Cincinnati and for the uninformed...Why has Cincinnati embrace their "pigginess"?
Way back in 1988, Cincinnati was redeveloping the riverfront. The new space would have a park, band shell and connect to both stadiums downtown. At the time, I was a student in the Art Department at the University of Cincinnati finishing up my degree. A meeting was held with the guest Artist and upperclassmen were invited to attend. I though to myself, "what a fantastic opportunity!" The Artist was to construct a public art sculpture for the newly developed area and students were asked to participate in its development and make a variety of models and casts.
During the meeting, the Artist talks about Cincinnati's history of the riverfront and of being a center for pork processing. The use of various pork by-products fueled the production of many common products like candles and soap, and was the start of Procter & Gamble, headquartered downtown. The Artist wants to use these images in the plans for the park. He wants pig images. He gives various dimensions to consider, and then says "I want horrific pigs."
Direct quote.
I am furiously writing all this down. What did he say? He wants what?
There is an weird silence in the room. I start to look around at the other students. Many of us have stunned expressions on our faces and are looking to one another for clarification.
He continues. "I want the pigs to be horrific. Screaming pigs...in honor of their slaughtered brethren."
Slaughtered brethren? What the fuck?
I leave the meeting...stunned. What the hell am I supposed to create given the slaughtered brethren image circling in my head? At the time I had only lived in Cincinnati for a few months. This is my primary introduction to my new city. I am thinking to myself, "This place is so messed up."
Anyway, the Riverfront is redeveloped, the park is opened, and the Artist has placed pigs with wings atop smokestacks to represent the Cincinnati riverboat / pork processing heritage. Normally conservative and moderate, the residents of Cincinnati are outraged. Why are Flying Pigs the symbol of the city? That's not what we wanted!
After all the hulabaloo over the stupid pigs....ten years later when the organizers are trying to come up with a catchy title for the marathon in Cincinnati....pigs come up again. You have to admit...the marketing ploys are endless....
"Yeah, I'll run a marathon...when pigs fly."
Spent most of Sunday following Rocky run the marathon and celebrating at the Incline House in Price Hill. A more 'Cincinnati' weekend I would not be able to create. That said... I don't want to give the impression that Cincinnatians are baseball-addicted, beer-drinking, bacon-eating freaks of nature....only on the first weekend in May.
The Flying Pig takes place during the first weekend in May and include the following events: marathon, half-marathon, relay, 10k, 5K, a pump and run event, a kid's run and a pet-friendly run as well. If you are truly a glutton for punishment, you can sign up for a combination of races. You can do a 3-way (5K, 10K, and half-marathon) or a 4-way (5K, 10, marathon) during the weekend.
In addition to these events, there is a 1-mile run on Friday night which is part of the Christian Moerlein Beer series. Friday's run was the second of three beer-themed runs throughout the year which allows participants to claim the title "Beer Hog". The series honors Cincinnati's heritage as a beer brewing center. The medal doubles as a bottle opener.
I don't participate in the run, but Rocky does and we spend the evening drinking at the Moerlein Lager House and watching the Reds lose to the Brewers. I call this pre-gaming for the big race the next day. Like good shoes, prep is so important.
The next morning, the 5K starts in front of the Great American Ball Park, home to the Cincinnati Reds, (yes, I took a photo by the Johnny Bench statue here as well), passes down by the Bengals Stadium, back across 3rd street and down near the new casino, finishing on the opposite side of the Ballpark.
While the Flying Pig events are sanctioned events and a Boston Qualifier, there is a goofy side to it as well.
People run in pig-themed attire. Bacon costumes. Pig noses and ears. The organizers have fully embraced their "pigginess".
There are no volunteers. Those who help are called "Grunts"
There is no kid's race. It's a Piglet Run.
Runners do not assemble in corrals. They use Pig Pens.
There are no possibilities. There are pig-abilities.
For those not from Cincinnati and for the uninformed...Why has Cincinnati embrace their "pigginess"?
Way back in 1988, Cincinnati was redeveloping the riverfront. The new space would have a park, band shell and connect to both stadiums downtown. At the time, I was a student in the Art Department at the University of Cincinnati finishing up my degree. A meeting was held with the guest Artist and upperclassmen were invited to attend. I though to myself, "what a fantastic opportunity!" The Artist was to construct a public art sculpture for the newly developed area and students were asked to participate in its development and make a variety of models and casts.
During the meeting, the Artist talks about Cincinnati's history of the riverfront and of being a center for pork processing. The use of various pork by-products fueled the production of many common products like candles and soap, and was the start of Procter & Gamble, headquartered downtown. The Artist wants to use these images in the plans for the park. He wants pig images. He gives various dimensions to consider, and then says "I want horrific pigs."
Direct quote.
I am furiously writing all this down. What did he say? He wants what?
There is an weird silence in the room. I start to look around at the other students. Many of us have stunned expressions on our faces and are looking to one another for clarification.
He continues. "I want the pigs to be horrific. Screaming pigs...in honor of their slaughtered brethren."
Slaughtered brethren? What the fuck?
I leave the meeting...stunned. What the hell am I supposed to create given the slaughtered brethren image circling in my head? At the time I had only lived in Cincinnati for a few months. This is my primary introduction to my new city. I am thinking to myself, "This place is so messed up."
Anyway, the Riverfront is redeveloped, the park is opened, and the Artist has placed pigs with wings atop smokestacks to represent the Cincinnati riverboat / pork processing heritage. Normally conservative and moderate, the residents of Cincinnati are outraged. Why are Flying Pigs the symbol of the city? That's not what we wanted!
After all the hulabaloo over the stupid pigs....ten years later when the organizers are trying to come up with a catchy title for the marathon in Cincinnati....pigs come up again. You have to admit...the marketing ploys are endless....
"Yeah, I'll run a marathon...when pigs fly."
Spent most of Sunday following Rocky run the marathon and celebrating at the Incline House in Price Hill. A more 'Cincinnati' weekend I would not be able to create. That said... I don't want to give the impression that Cincinnatians are baseball-addicted, beer-drinking, bacon-eating freaks of nature....only on the first weekend in May.
Friday, May 2, 2014
#18 Oklahoma City Memorial 5K
This one is a little different than the rest.
#18 was the Oklahoma City Memorial 5K which funds the OKC Memorial in downtown Oklahoma City. Entitled "A Run to Remember", it is held in honor of the 168 people who lost their lives when a truck bomb exploded outside the Alfred P. Murrah Building in April 1995. Housing numerous governmental agencies, the building also housed a daycare center for federal employees. 19 children were among the victims.
The race begins at dawn near the Field of Empty Chairs which are lit in the darkness. Each chair represents one of the 168 people. The starting line is next to the memorial and the race route is marked with individual banners naming each person who lost their life. It is impossible to get a bib number lower than 168. Those numbers are reserved every year for the victims of the attack.
As my sister and I arrived at the race site, the officials have declared a race delay of 30 minutes due to SEVERE WEATHER. If more lightening is detected, they will delay again. They announce that all participants should seek shelter in various parking garages near the race route and hunker down and wait out the storm.
Severe weather. Nothing says "good time" like SEVERE WEATHER.
Severe weather in Oklahoma can means only one thing. Clouds, wind, rain, wind, lightening, thunder, hail, wind, more wind, and finally, TORNADO.
After several delays, lots of wind, some hail, and more rain, the officials announce the start of the race. Actually, we don't hear the announcement as everything is echoing in the parking garages. We are "shushed" into silence when someone in the garage recognizes the National Anthem. We have missed the 168 seconds of silence, which is the beginning of the ceremonial start. Unfortunately, I (and everyone else in my personal parking garage) did not hear it. (If it is possible to hear silence, that is...)
At this point, I just want to get started or have it cancelled.
The marathoners and half-marathoners take off at 8:20. At 8:45, they are still crossing the start line. We (the 5k participants) finally cross the start line at 9:05. There are over 26,000 people in this event which includes a marathon, half-marathon, relay and 5K.
Along the route, I stopped to take a picture at the Johnny Bench statue outside the ballpark near Bricktown.
Johnny Bench is the iconic catcher for the legendary Cincinnati Red's "Big Red Machine". Born and raised in Binger, OK, he played his entire professional life for the Reds. He is Cincinnati.
However, those of us born and raised in Oklahoma understand a slightly different truth. We know he was a Red. We know he hasn't lived in Oklahoma for decades... but he is still one of us. We're just letting' you borrow him for a while. Awfully nice of us, don't ya think?
My friend Stephania accompanied me in this walk. She bitched and complained for a month that she wasn't in good shape and we wouldn't finish with a good time.
Liar.
She power-walked the entire way...often leaving me in the dust. The only reason she didn't completely abandon me was because I promised her mimosas afterward. A truer friend I could not have.
Because of Stephania's goading, I would have beaten my personal best time...however there was a train. Seriously...there was a train that passed through the course. If the race had started when it was scheduled, the race would have been long over by the time the train crossed the path, however a 2+ hour delay threw everything into disarray. I couldn't see the end of the train. We were stopped for 6 minutes and 42 seconds.
Many firefighters take part in the marathon or half-marathon. They suit up in full gear (that's an extra 85 pounds...I googled it!) and go. Later, after I had finished my race and meandered back to sip mimosas with family, we cheered the firefighters and other runners as the course meandered back through my sister's neighborhood.
I go home to Oklahoma a few times every year. This race seems to epitomize all that Oklahoma is. Honor, family, patriotism, laughter, bad weather, patience, and commitment. And mimosas and fried chicken.
Not bad.
#18 was the Oklahoma City Memorial 5K which funds the OKC Memorial in downtown Oklahoma City. Entitled "A Run to Remember", it is held in honor of the 168 people who lost their lives when a truck bomb exploded outside the Alfred P. Murrah Building in April 1995. Housing numerous governmental agencies, the building also housed a daycare center for federal employees. 19 children were among the victims.
The race begins at dawn near the Field of Empty Chairs which are lit in the darkness. Each chair represents one of the 168 people. The starting line is next to the memorial and the race route is marked with individual banners naming each person who lost their life. It is impossible to get a bib number lower than 168. Those numbers are reserved every year for the victims of the attack.
As my sister and I arrived at the race site, the officials have declared a race delay of 30 minutes due to SEVERE WEATHER. If more lightening is detected, they will delay again. They announce that all participants should seek shelter in various parking garages near the race route and hunker down and wait out the storm.
Severe weather in Oklahoma can means only one thing. Clouds, wind, rain, wind, lightening, thunder, hail, wind, more wind, and finally, TORNADO.
After several delays, lots of wind, some hail, and more rain, the officials announce the start of the race. Actually, we don't hear the announcement as everything is echoing in the parking garages. We are "shushed" into silence when someone in the garage recognizes the National Anthem. We have missed the 168 seconds of silence, which is the beginning of the ceremonial start. Unfortunately, I (and everyone else in my personal parking garage) did not hear it. (If it is possible to hear silence, that is...)
At this point, I just want to get started or have it cancelled.
The marathoners and half-marathoners take off at 8:20. At 8:45, they are still crossing the start line. We (the 5k participants) finally cross the start line at 9:05. There are over 26,000 people in this event which includes a marathon, half-marathon, relay and 5K.
Along the route, I stopped to take a picture at the Johnny Bench statue outside the ballpark near Bricktown.
Johnny Bench is the iconic catcher for the legendary Cincinnati Red's "Big Red Machine". Born and raised in Binger, OK, he played his entire professional life for the Reds. He is Cincinnati.
However, those of us born and raised in Oklahoma understand a slightly different truth. We know he was a Red. We know he hasn't lived in Oklahoma for decades... but he is still one of us. We're just letting' you borrow him for a while. Awfully nice of us, don't ya think?
My friend Stephania accompanied me in this walk. She bitched and complained for a month that she wasn't in good shape and we wouldn't finish with a good time.
Liar.
She power-walked the entire way...often leaving me in the dust. The only reason she didn't completely abandon me was because I promised her mimosas afterward. A truer friend I could not have.
Because of Stephania's goading, I would have beaten my personal best time...however there was a train. Seriously...there was a train that passed through the course. If the race had started when it was scheduled, the race would have been long over by the time the train crossed the path, however a 2+ hour delay threw everything into disarray. I couldn't see the end of the train. We were stopped for 6 minutes and 42 seconds.
Many firefighters take part in the marathon or half-marathon. They suit up in full gear (that's an extra 85 pounds...I googled it!) and go. Later, after I had finished my race and meandered back to sip mimosas with family, we cheered the firefighters and other runners as the course meandered back through my sister's neighborhood.
I go home to Oklahoma a few times every year. This race seems to epitomize all that Oklahoma is. Honor, family, patriotism, laughter, bad weather, patience, and commitment. And mimosas and fried chicken.
Not bad.
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